In a world filled with self-proclaimed spiritual gurus and mentors, how do we distinguish the true guides from the charlatans?
A post I read in a forum made me consider this subject. While I disagreed with the author’s viewpoints (which is why I didn’t share their write-up), it sparked my interest in contemplating the essence of genuine spiritual guidance.
No Easy Answer; Telltale Sign
Honestly, the elephant in the room is that there’s no straightforward way to evaluate or classify a spiritual guru or mentor. The task becomes even more daunting because most seekers haven’t yet developed the spiritual acumen to assess accurately (which needs a highly evolved mindset).
Nonetheless, here’s the telltale sign of an authentic guru or mentor — They are like water, seamlessly adapting to the unique needs and growth of each disciple. Yet, they are like a lotus, who remain non-attached and untainted by the world around them, which includes their disciples.
Whether a student requires a stern reprimand (to eliminate their ego) or a gentle touch of kindness, a true guru or mentor knows how to provide the appropriate support. However, even though a guru or mentor knows you inside out, they never judge you. Regardless of who you are, they ooze love and compassion because it’s their nature.
A Personal Metric
So, how do we identify a genuine guru or mentor in this sea of spiritual guidance? My metric is simple, based on four fundamental principles:
1. Following Your Heart
Not everything can be evaluated by reasoning. At times, we must trust our intuition. If your heart resonates with a mentor or a spiritual guru, it’s often a sign that they may be the right guide for you.
My personal example is my friend-mentor, Om Swami. He was almost unknown to the world when I met him. At that time, other than his pre-monkshood family and friends, nobody endorsed him. (This in itself was a point of concern because monks usually aren’t in touch with their kith and kin.)
Yet, I chose Swami as my mentor because my heart said so — I loved him, and he loved me. It was as simple as that.
2. Becoming a Better Human Being
A genuine guru or mentor will help you become a better and confident version of yourself. As long as that is happening, you are in the company of the right guide.
In my journey with Swami, his presence was pivotal in channeling my anger and fostering personal growth. So, he undeniably made me a better person.
3. Feeling Loved and Cared For
When a mentor, guru, or anyone for that matter judges me before showering love on me, I distance myself from such people.
Authentic gurus or mentors create an environment where you feel loved, nurtured, and cared for rather than judged. They provide you the opportunity to develop yourself, and if your requirements do not fit with their teachings, they may even encourage you to leave them.
My friend-mentor knew every nonsense about me. At times, he even reprimanded me, but I never felt judged for my flaws and imperfections.
4. Avoiding Abuse
A true guru or mentor will gently guide you toward self-improvement. They will definitely push you with kindness to do something worthwhile with your life because it’s their job.
Still, they will never coerce you into actions or beliefs that don’t align with your inner self. If you ever feel pressured or abused, it’s a clear sign that something is amiss, and you should distance yourself without hesitation.
Two Types of Gurus
When we make statements about gurus, mentors, or anybody else, we mostly judge them without any real experience or understanding, which is something I do not encourage because it’s a sign of spiritual ignorance.
Therefore, categorizing gurus into various types is a pointless endeavor. From where I see it, there are only two types of gurus or mentors: good human beings and those who fall short.
Unfortunately, we really can’t find out anyone’s intention until we interact with them. Hence, the only option that remains is to follow your heart and acknowledge those who embody the essence of goodness.
If you find a mentor or a guru whose values align with kindness, care, love, and compassion, everything else falls into place. After all, spirituality ultimately is about becoming a better, compassionate human being.
Love,
Sri Devi Om
