My life has been far from perfect. I was not born with any genius special powers. Even in school, I was just the average Joe. However, I attribute my life’s success to two virtues: tenacity and hard work.

The more challenges life threw at me, the more I converted them into success. And the more the world wrote me down, the more I worked with vigor. This attitude propelled me ahead in my career, so it was no surprise that I approached spirituality the same way.

The Curse of Praise

The mark of an exemplary mentor is that they ask nothing more of you than your progress. Since I was progressing rapidly, it was natural that my monk-friend — let’s just call him Swami — never missed an opportunity to praise me.

In one instance, Swami had gone out of the way to speak about me as an example spiritual practitioner at his Ashram. (Source: One of his initiated monk disciples heard him say that and expressed awe to me.)

That sounds absolutely perfect, right? I wish it were, but things didn’t pan out that way. My mentor’s lavish praises made me realize why the sages of Sanatana Dharma say that Lakshmi (prosperity) always comes with Alakshmi (negativities).

The praises I received put a dent in my spiritual utopia. Jealousy, hatred, and all of their cousins appeared out of nowhere in those around me, destroying my calm. I wondered what kind of community I was part of and even doubted my mentor.

They’ve grown up, but…

When it became almost impossible for me to keep my head sane amidst all the politics, a right pointer at the right time from my friend-mentor prevented me from sinking into negativity.

Here’s his pointer that has stayed with me (paraphrased for brevity):

Just because someone has grown up doesn’t mean they have become an adult! Think of such people as tiny little children and forgive them. That is the mark of a mature adult.

Swami’s pointer improved my ability to handle situations, but I now faced a new challenge: fear of praise! Each time I heard compliments, I worried that I would have to go through the rollercoaster of criticism, taunting, and more. It was difficult, but I kept reminding myself:

Criticism always follows praise. Rise above words, and both praise and criticism will become irrelevant.

Dawn of Non-Attachment

Naughty Nature, though, was on a mission to eliminate every little flaw in me! Suddenly, for some weird reason (which I still don’t fully comprehend), a handful of Swami’s followers who had raised me to the heavens dropped me down into the dumps. They started spreading negative stories, and some even posted derogatory remarks.

It seemed like I had gotten into a shipwreck and was swimming for my life in the middle of an icy ocean! Nothing made sense, and I was confused. Yet, due to those challenging situations, I became numb to the remarks directed at me. Bliss was my emotion when that happened!

As I learned from experience:

Our minds crave appreciation by default, but it’s a trap. Beware, because if you get carried away with praise, criticism will follow!

Ultimately, no matter who we are or what we do, some will love us, and some will perpetually doubt us. In this scenario, the best solution is to become non-attached to words — good and otherwise. As is, most of what is being spoken is noise, anyway!

Love,
Sri Devi Om